I don’t know why this tought suddenly came to me. It’s been so long since the idea I could be a boy crossed my mind and at this point I can’t actually imagine myself being one. I never expected things are going to end up like this when eight years ago I somehow changed into a little girl. I thought the doctors are going to figure out how to make me my normal self again, but now when I look at it, I think my fate was decided from the very begining and mom might knew about it. She’s been way too eager to try make me feel good about being a girl. I don’t blame her because now when I think about it, it might helped me greatly to adapt to my new body and right now I really wouldn’t want to change. My transformation was a huge shock for all of us and I wasn’t happy at all with it. It’s pretty understandable I didn’t like it. I mean an eighteen years old guy suddenly becoming a little girl could really damage my self confidence. Mom and dad were assuring me that it’s only temporary and that before I even realize, I will be my normal self again. I believed them at first, althought somewhere in the back of my head I knew there is a possibility I may never become a guy again and I might as well start preparing myself for the bad news to come. I became suspicious when mom started insisting I should wear girl’s clothes. I knew my old clothes were now just too big for me to wear, but I didn’t understand why the clothes mom bought me had to be so girly. I didn’t want to be tedious too much so despite disliking it I started wearing them, even if it meant I had to put on a pink t-shirt with a barbie logo or a skirt. At some point, mom decided I should start going back to school. I felt ridiculous sitting in a class among other kids, learning things I already knew but I couldn’t do anything about it. Not until I change back into a guy which I was begining to belive is unlikely to happen. I think that I just gave up on any hope and that’s why I started trying to fit in with the other kids. Without me even noticing it I was becoming more childish and girly. I started playing with toys, first in secrecy but later I stopped hiding with it. I guess I just let the inner child to take control and because of that, it was easy to forget I was actually eighteen not eight. Eventually enough time passed for my body to start changing. However I wasn’t changing back to myself. I was changing like any other girl does at a certain age when puberty starts. I had no problems with that. I was already at the point where I accepted the fact I’m going to remain a girl for the rest of my life and I became comfortable with it enought that I was actually glad to see my boobs growing and my body taking a feminine shape. It was a sight I’m turning into a woman and it was something me and my girl friends were looking forward into. Today I’m sixteen and while nobody officially confirmed it, I’m sure my transformation was irreversible from the very begining. I’m ok with that. I like being a girl and it’s been a long time since I’ve stopped thinking of myself as a boy. In fact, I think I would feel really bad if I changed into a boy, just like I felt when I changed into a girl eight years ago. Things are good the way they are at the moment. I like wearing my clothes, I like my long hair, I like hanging out with my girl friends and especially I really like cuddling and kissing with my boyfriend.
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